The Chick Fellatio: stuck in the craw

After all the Chick-Fil-A B.S I have been having to put up with, I have found something to post that I fully agree with.  It comes from the perspective of a man who is gay and has had enough of people NOT knowing what the controversy really is about.

The Chick Fellatio: stuck in the craw
Posted on July 30, 2012

Taken on our 18th Anniversary, which also happens to be the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, June 28. Wayne’s on your left, Cody’s on your right.

This post is all I have to say about the Chick-Fil-A controversy. It sums up various posts on the issue and various points made by my friends and I. From now own, rather than spend time debating this issue person by person, I’m going to point people here.

My hope here is to find common ground with those who have disagreed with me on the issue, and maybe to persuade. It’s not to ridicule or to best.

So, in the interest of common ground, let’s start here: I acknowledge the absurdity of all this debate.

It’s definitely strange to have days-long Facebook debates flare up everywhere over a chicken sandwich. The anger, sarcasm, and hurt feelings on display seem strange or even laughable because most people have seen Chick-Fil-A as just a restaurant with a funny ad campaign. I’ll get into some of the whys and wherefores of that later. But, for now, let’s just say that, yes. It can seem ridiculous to get all worked up over fast-food chicken.

Let’s also agree that this isn’t about curtailing anyone’s rights under First Amendment. The Constitution is a legal document. This is not a legal argument. No one is arguing that Chik-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy should be put in prison, or silenced, or censored by the government. This has nothing to do with government censorship or government abridgment of Freedom of Speech. So don’t worry: the ability of this millionaire to legally spend his millions as he sees fit is not in jeopardy. You need not defend it.

Now, let’s get to the nitty-gritty of things. Please read carefully. These things have been said before, but not by me, and not all in one place. Please read with an open mind. If you can’t read with an open mind, please leave, take a minute, come back, and try again. If you can’t do that, then please don’t bother. Please read all of the words here, rather than just reading half of the argument and assuming you know what I’m saying. Read these words as they are written. Again, if you don’t want to read my words, then don’t continue.

So here goes:

1. This isn’t simply about marriage. Shocker, right? It’s extremely frustrating that same-sex marriage is the great continental divide. People are judged according to how they stand on this issue, as if no other issue matters. Did you know that a person can be for same-sex marriage and still be homophobic? Did you know that a person can be against same-sex marriage and be gay? We all get categorized very quickly based on the marriage issue and maybe that’s not fair. But here’s what you should know:

- In 29 states in America today, my partner of 18 years, Cody, or I could be fired for being gay. Period. No questions asked. One of those states is Louisiana, our home state. We live in self-imposed exile from beloved homeland, family, and friends, in part, because of this legal restriction on our ability to live our lives together.

- In 75 countries in the world, being gay is illegal. In many, the penalty is life in prison. These are countries we can’t openly visit. In 9 countries, being gay is punishable by death. In many others, violence against gays is tacitly accepted by the authorities. These are countries where we would be killed. Killed.

- Two organizations that work very hard to maintain this status quo and roll back any protections that we may have are the Family Research Council and the Marriage & Family Foundation. For example, the Family Research council leadership has officially stated that same-gender-loving behavior should be criminalized in this country. They draw their pay, in part, from the donations of companies like Chick-Fil-A. Both groups have also done “missionary” work abroad that served to strengthen and promote criminalization of same-sex relations.

- Chick-Fil-A has given roughly $5M to these organizations to support their work.

- Chick-Fil-A’s money comes from the profits they make when you purchase their products.

2. This isn’t about mutual tolerance because there’s nothing mutual about it. If we agree to disagree on this issue, you walk away a full member of this society and I don’t. There is no “live and let live” on this issue because Dan Cathy is spending millions to very specifically NOT let me live. I’m not trying to do that to him.

Asking for “mutual tolerance” on this like running up to a bully beating a kid to death on the playground and scolding them both for not getting along. I’m not trying to dissolve Mr. Cathy’s marriage or make his sex illegal. I’m not trying to make him a second-class citizen, or get him killed. He’s doing that to me, folks; I’m just fighting back.

All your life, you’re told to stand up to bullies, but when WE do it, we’re told WE are the ones being intolerant? Well, okay. Yes. I refuse to tolerate getting my ass kicked. “Guilty as charged.”

But what are you guilty of? When you see a bully beating up a smaller kid and you don’t take a side, then you ARE taking a side. You’re siding with the bully. And when you cheer him on, you’re revealing something about your own character that really is a shame.

3. This isn’t about Jesus. I have a lot of Christian friends. Most of them are of the liberal variety, it’s true, but even this concept seems lost on some of you. Most of them are pro-LGBT rights. Pro-gay and Pro-Christ are NOT mutually exclusive. They never have been, in the history of Christianity, though it’s been difficult at times. It’s not impossible to be both.

If someone is telling you it is, then maybe you should wonder why they’d do that. I see divorced Christians, remarried Christians, drug addict Christians. I see people with WWJD bracelets bumping and grinding on TV and raking in millions to do it. I see greedy, rapacious, vengeful people who are Christians. And these people are accepted in the Church, and the Church does very little to combat them. Sometimes it seems like being gay is the ONLY thing certain modern Christian movements won’t allow. Why’s that, I wonder?

Jesus had almost nothing to say about sexual behavior of any kind. He was too busy teaching more important things. Empathy is at the heart of his teachings. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Remember that? It’s in red. So let’s examine that:

4. If things were reversed, I’d stand up for you.

Please think about this: How would you feel if KFC came out tomorrow and said they were spending money against equality for Asian Americans, or African Americans, or religious people? Really. Think about it. What would you do? How would you feel? How would you feel if, after their announcement, there was a big increase in KFC sales and I was all over Facebook supporting KFC. Please stop reading right now and imagine this. I’m serious.

You can stop now because it’s ludicrous. It would never happen.

Oh, I don’t mean the part about KFC being against some group. That COULD happen. I mean the part about me supporting them. Let me tell you something, and you can damn well believe it: I’d sign on for the boycott IMMEDIATELY.

Why? Well, because I believe in equality for all people, that’s why. But also, personally, from the bottom of my heart: because you are my friend, and I don’t willingly support people who harm you for just being you. How could I? How could I, really? But, more importantly for our purposes, how could you?

Seriously, how could you? What has Chick-Fil-A ever done for you? Sold you some fatty chicken at a ridiculous mark-up? Made you chuckle at semi-literate cartoon cows? You mean more to me than KFC possibly could. If I, in turn, don’t mean more to you than a chicken sandwich from Chik-Fil-A–if my life, my quality of life, and my dignity are such afterthoughts to you that you’d not only refuse the boycott, but go out of your way to support someone who was hurting me? if I let this stand, if I don’t stand up to the bullies and if I let my friends egg the bullies on, what does that make me?

Well, it makes me a Chikin.

Yeah, so suddenly it is cause for anger, ridiculous or not.

But I’m not going to stop being Facebook friends with anyone over this issue.

Instead, I will remain. And, when you see my face with my partner’s in my profile, maybe you will examine not simply what your opinions are about gay people, or gay marriage, or the first amendment, even; maybe you’ll examine not merely your opinions but your values. What is friendship to you? What is loyalty? How important are human life and dignity to you? Are they more important than fitting in with your social group? Are they more important than loyalty to a corporate brand, or a political party, or some misguided church teaching?

That’s why we’re so angry. This is personal for us. There are times in your life when you have the opportunity to stand up for your friends. When you let that opportunity pass, your friends notice. It doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, but it diminishes you, and it diminishes the friendship. That’s how it is, no matter what the issue or what the venue.

So stand up. Stand up for us. Do the right thing. You don’t have to agree with us on everything, but repudiate Chick-Fil-A. Unlike them on Facebook. Withdraw your support for them. Join us in the boycott. If you can’t do that, then please ask yourself whether I’m your friend. In fact, ask yourself whether anyone is.

This is all I have to say. If you’d like to debate the issue further, I’ll do it, but I’m not going to go around and around on the same points. If you’re just going to repeat yourself, save us both some time. If you haven’t taken the time to actually read this carefully and actually consider carefully what I’ve said, then I see no reason to waste further words.

The ball is in your court. Again, I urge you to do the right thing.

- Wayne Self
Twitter: @owldolatrous
Facebook: facebook.com/owldolatrous

Im a Deviant.

Check me out on Deviant art, I'm starting a profile over-haul! The work above is by yours truly, and I plan on adding more unique creations as time goes on!

Back to Reality

I am back from my vacation in Michigan, and half way wish it had been to some exotic resort where I just couldn't bear to tear myself away from and ended up staying and spending the rest of my days at. But alas, it was indeed a vacation with an expiration date and in this reality I couldn't abandon my furry children waiting for me at home any more than I could give up breathing, and I rather enjoy my casa and its king size bed. I returned Friday night with more than my fair share of serious thoughts swimming around in my brain like dazed and confused Koi fish. My musings are slimy, slippery, and like to try to rush to the surface all at once when I have a light bulb moment of clarity. They like to slip through my fingers every time I attempt to grab them, splashing me in the face with their tails as if to mock me as they swim away again. And as I sat in the car on the way back home trying to keep up a pleasant conversation with my fiance, I thought back on all the time I spent thinking about our relationship over the last week.

While sitting on that sun baked pier on the shore of Higgins Lake, all I could do was muse about how happy or unhappy I was. I imagined my life with out him, and measured the twang of pain that shot through me at that very thought. I tried to see myself as single, and what that would mean for my career and those hours not at work. I thought about it while traveling all those many miles back to Texas again, considering what it would feel like to be packing my things and running away. I didn't like the resulting feelings of those thoughts at all. The thing that probably saved me face in the time from the airport to our home, was that I had all ready spent the one of my days walking through the national park next to the cabins the morning before, sorting out some of these questions amongst the trees and nature. I had made up my mind before I landed, and it was a small blessing that I had taken that time to myself or I might have just fallen to pieces when I was met with chocolates, roses, a card, and my engagement ring at the baggage claim. It was my rock in a torrent of emotions that I sat on, knowing that this gesture of his was a sign I had made the right choice. If every thing else was crumbling, I still loved him. I couldn't imagine my life with out him, with out feeling like some one had taken a hammer to my heart, and brought my world crashing down around  my ears. 

It scares me a little bit, to know that I'm so head over heels in love with a person that even the very thought of not having them in my life makes me weep. I tend to think I'm a very logical woman, and after the catastrophe of having my heart broken the first time around, I'm also very cautious. That's why it took me a whole week to realize that I'm simply too close to the situation, and the reason why I couldn't seem to 'fix' this situation was because I am entirely too close to it. All the knowledge I spew at friends, helping them left and right through their lives, and yet here I am with the biggest one in my life and I cant even figure out what else to do. So, I did what every woman does in this situation if they can, I called my mother. She listened to me rant, then rave, then she tried to talk to me through the angry sobs (I loath crying), and then finally she told me what I needed to hear. If I love him, then no matter what I say or do or how angry he makes me, I will stay with him because that's where my heart is. If I love him, and he loves me just as much then he should be willing to work through what ever issues we have. On that same hand, she told me how much she had loved my father in the beginning and that after a while of him not changing his ways, she came to a point where she had taken enough and at that point in time she had forced herself to leave. She didn't know if something better or worse was around the corner, she didn't know if she could make it by herself and support a growing child, all she knew was that she had to look after both herself and me. (She's been married for over 15 years to my step-father and they just got done adding a sun room to the home they own lock stock and key, happy ending any one?) At that point in time she vowed to help me if and when I needed it, told me that she would take care of my pet deposit if I decided I wanted to try again because she some how knew with that mothers intuition that I would put my pets before myself. She also let me know that she thought my fiance was a good man, that every relationship has it's issues, and that no matter which way I chose she would back me up 110%. She asked me if I had 'had enough', or if I was simply frustrated at the situations I constantly found myself in. The simple truth is that I haven't had enough, because I could never get enough of him. It was our conversation that helped me realize what we need, counseling. I need some one who isn't biased of the situation, even though my mother pointed me in the right direction with out knowing it, and some one who has enough years under the belt to help us fix what ever it is that has broken. 

Note to all the women that are reading this, getting a man to go to counseling with you (no matter what the age) is like nailing jello to a tree & I don't recommend you do it unless you absolutely have too. I will not go over how horrible it was to admit to wanting to go and giving the reasons why, I will only say its like all most like admitting a defeat. Its akin to a last ditch effort, and it was hard and surprising to see him break down as he realized that if this didn't work.... 

Im trying to keep us positive, and re-enforcing the idea that this is something good no matter how darkly were looking at it. If I didn't care, or love him enough I would have given up. I would have called it quits and left our relationship for dead, but instead of giving up I'm calling 911 and trying to perform CPR until the medics arrive. I really don't know what more to do at this point, and I hope with all my being that what ever we find out about ourselves and our relationship in the upcoming sessions makes us better people and a better couple. 

My only real fear is that some one is going to go fishing in my brain. Some one can poke and prod our relationship with out me squirming too much, because I believe we have set enough foundation up to make it through that,  but the thought of some one setting their sights on me singularly gives me the scratch. I know I still have issues with some things, as I'm more self conscious than most and have realized my flaws, but I would really rather not have to battle those inner demons and the ones hiding in the sheets with me every night at the same time. Isnt there some type of rule about double teaming? I think we should just leave some things stashed away in the back of the closet, and allow ourselves to look in the mirror and pretend. Its only the ones that crawl out and start to disrupt the every day life that should be beaten back into submission and put back in it's box......I wonder what social anxiety looks like, insecurity, or jealousy. I bet you jealousy isn't green. I bet you she's a tall, leggy blonde, with a little yappy dog in a pink purse who rides around in the side seat of a Porsche all day. I hope there isn't any psycho babble about 'being one' with your issues or this is going to be a challenge. FML.

Brought to you by LOL

Today's random thoughts are brought to you by LOL and sponsored by cats!

I really thought that as I was packing yesterday, one of my cats would give a damn. I mean, for a human, I have been acting sort of weird. I have been cleaning my house like a manic person, causing them to run or be shut out from various rooms, haven't had the time to give them their daily mommy-kitty time, even yelled at one of them for trying to soft paw my shoes (which is totally free game), and yet I got a whole lot of nothing from them as I started to move all my clothes into day by day spreads on the bed last night. I think they have realized that daddy is as much as a functioning can opener as mommy. They grow up so fast, and Im so not feeling the love right now.

Why cant they be like all other cats, and let me walk out of the room only to come in and find them in my luggage all 'take me!' and what not? Oh, that's right...because I trained them not too. Damn my ability to raise smart animals.

Pancakes! Im sooo stoked to be seeing my friend Matt again this year, because one of the epic perks of having him as a friend is that he's good in the kitchen and both his wife and I get to enjoy the spoils. Freshly made chocolate chip pancakes, made not so early in the morning that your too groggy to enjoy them, but not so late your famished and annihilate them with out tasting them. What could make a vacation better than chocolate pancakes in bed?

I have a fear of being in public places by myself. I have finally looked it up and realized its a sort of social anxiety that has popped up over the years, and seems to get worse with stress. Think about that statement hard. I'm about to go to an airport, filled with strange people, police that look at every one like potential terrorist, not a moment to myself until I land (Which my first flight is at  6am and I land at my destination at 5pm), and if that's not enough to get me all worried, I have to pray to the luggage gods that mine doesn't get lost or is over weight or is too big..or.... Drats, there I go again with the worrying. Who ever invented this horrible way of travel needs to be slapped, and then the whole thing needs to be re-evaluated.

Two hours until work is over and vacation begins! Im going to run around like a chicken with my head cut off after I get off, doing all the last minute things that need to get done, until I collapse tonight in bed with my alarm clock set for 3:30 am (what an ungodly hour). I did practically the same thing last night, running around trying to find a white box with my spare engagement ring in it, before flopping into bed at 1 am defeated and fuming. Vacation. Vacation is all most here, if I can just survive today and tomorrows air port terrors, I can wake up Sunday morning in a cabin on the lake and sigh in relief that I made it to a week of stress free fun.

The humane society called me, wanting to know how my foster dog Sammy was doing and if they could schedule her an appointment to get spayed. A) One of their associates found her a rescue, that I took her too, over two months ago. B) She was adopted from there a week later. C) They told me at the time I took her in that while she was in foster she couldn't be fixed.

All I could do as I listened to the voice mail of the associate asking me all the idiotic questions that she should have known the answers too all ready, was that I am very glad that as soon as I dropped Sammy off at rescue I turned right around and deleted every thing to do with that foundation out of my life. They are rude, incompetent, and some times I doubt their abilities to run the place as half the time they don't know what the heck is going on between their own staff. I did call them back, and left a message that pretty much amounted to telling them that they are idiots and if Sammy DIDN'T get adopted like I was told then I need to know. Not much I can do, as Im going on vacation, but I will be damned that I wont raise some hell if she didn't and has been sitting in some home not being loved on like she deserves. End rant.

Im getting my roots touched up here in a bit, as well as getting my hair flat ironed, and cut. I scheduled it on the eve of my flight so that way, when Im waking up at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow, at least I wont have to worry about my hair. I will how ever, have to worry about the five million other things I need to write down on a list, so I wont leave any thing behind. On a bright note, if I do forget any thing Wal-mart is universal. I seriously doubt any thing I might leave behind couldn't be easily replaced by a trip to Wally World. The worst thing that can happen right now is that my stylist murders my hair, a tsunami rolls in, or the world ends.  Lets just hope none of the above happen.

Early Check-Out Fees

My mind is all ready on vacation, and the simple fact that I'm sitting at work writing this is an testament to how much I'm paying for that fun little fact. It doesn't seem like any thing I do can capture my attention for longer than five seconds. This must be how a five year old cracked out on sugar feels, Oh, shiny! Oh, ice cream! Oh, puppy! Except, being the adult I am, I'm turning all my attentions to the internet and attempting to make that little clock on the bottom right hand of my computer screen move just a little more faster. If I had a time machine, I would totally use it right about now to fast forward to five p.m, not even caring that I might have to kill my future self in order to prevent a rip in the fabric of time. Yes, I just went that nerdy on you but I digress. 

The internet is for porn. Okay, hang in there with me because it's actually a very true statement. There are two three-to-four letter words that will get you around the internet all day long and that's porn and lol. No matter what type of person you are, type those two words (even together if your feeling adventurous) into a search engine and you have a whole day of nothing but double clicks and laughing your funny bone off. To that fair few who are staring at the screen right now with an eyebrow arched, just go..right now..I'm pointing dramatically in the opposite direction of my blog. Begone.

After you scroll through the millions of actual porn sites brought up by that single four letter word, you might just find something interesting. That is to say, if you didn't find something graphically explicit with adds to the sides promising to grow your penis an extra 5 inches or the number for local whores, before this point and are now...never mind. I just hope you didn't do this search at work, unless of course your a porn star, then by all means do your work study. I on the other hand, made it past the land mines of actual porn and ended up on a very educational site where I learned how the porn industry came into being and how the movies are made.I watched it all the way up to the really messed up but none the less hilarious porn spoofs, out of sheer boredom. Yes, I didn't stop for actual porn but porn spoofs were interesting enough to me for a curious click. I'm odd, don't judge. I have to say though, the thing that topped the cake was when I found a Youtube clip of Sesame Street characters singing, you guessed it: The Internet is for Porn. For the rest of my life, when ever some one says Sesame Street I will envision Bert and Ernie belting out vulgar lyrics about porn. The internet, ruining your child hood memories one random search at a time. From Power Ranger to Porn Star!

Typing in LOL, I found the League of Legends a Multiplayer Online Battle Arena (forgive me, my nerd is showing through again), and all most decided my brain was melted enough by this point in time to join in. Luckily, the cats saved me. That's right boys and girls, LOL Cats saved me from spending the next month building a completely pointless character and wasting hours of my life on a game that would go no where. You might ask yourself, how awesome is this site to have saved her? The whole site is dedicated to animals, funny...captioned...animals. After scrolling through the hall of fame, I decided that I would have to rush home after work and create one of my own from my animals, because lets be honest mine are so much more cute than any on that site so far. Following the line of curiosity killed the cat, I found the Urban Dictionary. Note to all reading: if you are a little out of touch with the lingo of the times I highly recommend you just ask a fifteen-year old and avoid this site at all cost. I would never have thought the phrase Alaskan Ghost Rider could be any thing sexual, but thank you Urban Dictionary for giving me a new view of both Alaskan's and that horrible Nicolas Cage movie. 

If you happen to run out of searches, because you spent all day online like I did, lets hope you have friends like mine who make recommendations. Cracked.com is an excellent waste of time site, simply because no matter what you are interested in they will probably have something that will amuse you for pointless hours to come. It entertains you with this amusing, wildly sarcastic tone, while feeding you stories to share with your friends or family later. Whether you randomly bring up knowing about 7 Famous Musicians Who Stole Some of Their Biggest Hits  to some one in the office the next day, or decide to tell the little old lady down the lane that if her cat tries to claim you one more time your going to get a restraining order on the furry bastard, is all on you. We have come full circle it seems, at cats, because I just keep thinking about leaving mine for a week in the tender care of my fiance. Which of course comes on the heels of me thinking of my vacation, in three days. Is it five O'clock yet?

Robots crawl in bodies for surgery (and then take over world)

Viewing Yahoo news this morning, where I admittedly get most of my news, I scanned past fluff pieces like 'How 'Dancing' star stays thin' and 'Kim K. changes hair' only to stop on a particular piece named 'Tool-wielding robots crawl in bodies for surgery'. Now, I have to admit that I'm about fifty-fifty on the whole advancement of robots that can think and act on their own. I know the benefits can be great, and list off five million reasons why the advancement of medical robots is a good goal to have in the medical field, but I want you to think about where my mind went after reading the last few paragraphs of the article.

"Velosa has been building robots that ask humans for help when they don't know what to do, as well as teams of robots that play soccer against each other. Sometimes, the robots surprise her. During one soccer game against robots from another university, the Carnegie Mellon team scored on a particular play. That sent a positive signal to the robot's computers, which are designed to reward success and discourage failures in the game. Her robots then tried the play again — and scored again. It turned out they had discovered a programing flaw in the other team of robots, just like some sports teams find a flaw in their opponents. Velosa's robot's kept using the same play, scoring every time, and thus reinforcing the tendency to try the play over and over. The robots crushed the other team. "It was programmed by me, but it looked to me as if they learned," she said. "I believe we are much closer to having robots be able to coexist with humans. The beautiful thing is you see the robots learning"  

Am I the only one who watched the movie A.I, you know the one with Will Smith and Haley Joel Osment as the adorable artificial kid which is the first to have real feelings, especially a never-ending love for his "mother", Monica? Monica who apparently wanted to live in denial about her own son and adopted the mecha 'David' as a substitute, because her real flesh and blood was in cryo-stasis, stricken by an incurable disease. The real plot twist came when David (who was happily living happily with Monica and her husband) got thrown out like yesterdays trash when their real son returns home after a cure is discovered. Rule #1: Nothing good comes out of robots that look like little kids and can think for themselves, even if they are squishy and come with adorable little bear side kicks.

Even if that doesn't put a kink in the whole 'self thinking robots are a good thing' theory, lets just recap. Denial. Betrayal. Humans being replaced by Artificial Intelligent beings who think they are superior to us because their chips are wired better than ours, say what? Robot war, you guessed it! They become so advanced they start seeing us as flawed, and instead of helping us they decide to murder us all. Rule #2: Playing god and creating 'life' never amounts to anything good. 

But what am I thinking, that's just a movie right? It would NEVER happen like that, with all the advanced technology we have and what not they will just advance to think for themselves but not to retaliate against us. Im snorting in laughter right now, just imagining some one expecting their first kids getting the very same lecture from a parent. No, my kid will never retaliate against me because I will raise little Ashley to be independent but not too independent as for her to ever want to go against my wishes.. Wait until the teenage years, and all that fancy talk will go down the drain. On the bright side, we could end up with nano bots running through our bodies that turn us all into Atlantean vampires. No, we will not sparkle but we will all have cool silver eyes and have very hot, soul searching sex. Wait, that's the Argeneau Series by Lynsay Sands and that would be completely ridiculous....every one knows there is no such thing as soul searching sex. Nano Bot Induced Vampire Sex - Here!

Walks of life

Reflecting on my life, its hard to believe the complete hodge podge of people and lifestyles I have come across and befriended. I mostly chalk the phenomenon up to my outgoing personality, the healthy dose of curiosity I have about everything in general, and a seriously open mind. With such a wide mix of persona's drifting in and out of my life I'm still amazed at the situations I find myself in from time to time, and the conversations I have. Its really silly actually, I act momentarily shocked then I take a step back and pretty much think to myself, 'This situation really was unavoidable.' Just think how it feels for me to realize I just spent most of the morning discussing non-sexual BDSM, the pro's and con's of breast feeding, and teasingly joking about the politics behind Obama supporting the gays.  It takes a certain type to juggle such odd conversations before the first cup of caffeine.

Now don't get me wrong, I have plenty of plane Jane conversations. Just like most people, I pretend I'm normal Monday thru Friday 8-5. I just find it fun to occasionally branch out and touch on the different life styles of others, and I have found that if your really open and non-judgmental you can actually learn more about yourself through the exploration of others. The real amusing part comes when you start to wonder about yourself because you aren't doing some of these crazy and wild things your discussing so thoroughly with others. For example, I have so many friends who enjoy the BDSM lifestyle that I would have to be a little more lily white than I am to not have ever have had 'the chat' with a few of them. That's not to say I'm going out and buying gags and floggers, its just me believing that knowledge is power and that knowledge is going to allow me to live my life fully . I want to be able to go to my grave knowing that if I ever walked into a room with a Roman Cross in it, I would be informed enough not to hang my coat on it.

Its the same about the conversation I was having with a female friend about breastfeeding, except with this particular subject I might actually have to put the information to use one day (heaven forbid). Lets be clear, I don't ever plan on having children, don't enjoy children for long periods of time, and would probably duct tape one to the wall if the situation called for it. That being said, I have done my research on mostly any thing that involves child birth and the after care because as per usual I cant go on not understanding something most of my friends have gone through. I want to be able to look at a wish list for one of their baby showers and know what a breast pump looks like, with out having to find the nearest sales associate to quietly ask my question in shame. I have breasts, I should know what a breast pump is, it seems only logical right?

Now that I think about it, maybe my interest in all things is just some elaborate scheme so I will never have to be flustered or embarrassed around others. Which reminds me of the last subject I spoke about this morning, President Barack Obama supporting the gays. I couldn't help but feel slightly flustered discussing Obamas support for the LGBT community with a gay acquaintance of mine. Honestly, it wasn't because he was gay, it wasn't because Obama is a Hawaiian Muslim raised by an Atheist mother, it was the fact that the person I was speaking with couldn't understand that Obama was doing it just to try to rake in votes. The delicate dance of trying to tell a person who is a part of that particular community, not to vote for Obama just because he is making empty gestures is akin to trying to nail jello to a tree. Even throwing the example that Obama had all ready used the promise to work on the legalization of marijuana in his original campaign, and done the exact opposite when he got into office wasn't enough to shine some truth on the subject. I can only repeat that this conversation included, pot, gays, and a Hawaiian Muslim trying to wave a rainbow colored flag to get votes in the next election.

Needless to say, my morning was a prime example of how far down the rabbit hole some of my conversations go. The nice part about having me as a friend though, is that even though I might not follow the same path as you in life I will try my hardest to at least be in the loop and understand. Im like a closet know it all, except there are some coats in here with me that are a little off colored and  probably shouldn't be brought out around polite company. At the very least, I have a nice selection of people to spend time with depending on my mood. If I feel like staying  home and baking cookies, I have a friend for that. If I feel like picking up a nice Sunday dress and heading to church, I have a fair share of friends for that. If I want to talk about the string theory and Schrödinger's cat, I have a nerdy friend or two on speed dial. If I want to go running around the woods under a full moon, naked and chanting in....Well, you get the point. I guess what this whole rant boils down too, is that all things considered I feel pretty damn lucky to have the wild & mixed bunch of people in my life to call friends. Its a little hard to remember how I came to know most of them, a lot of fun to be around them, and a shock when I meet even crazier ones than I all ready have. No matter what conversations I find myself in, no matter what wild situations I find myself in, Im glad to have had them in my life.

- Friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine. ~Thomas Jefferson